And how to actually give yourself that rest with a newborn.

First, why so much talk about rest?

If you were having a major abdominal surgery- having your appendix removed, for example - you would assume that rest was needed to recover. If you were sick, your essential nutrients depleted as your body fought off the illness, it would also be natural to rest while your body regained strength.

And yet, in much of Western culture, after a 9 month process of creating life that results in, at minimum, completely rearranged internal organs, a dinner-plate-size wound in the womb, a radical shift in the hormones that govern every part of our autonomic physiological functions, and either an incision that cut through seven layers of tissues (C-Section) or a pelvic floor that has stretched beyond any previous experience (Vaginal Birth) - after all of this, women are expected to “bounce back”.

This way of thinking is damaging, not only to mother’s physical wellbeing, but to our long term mental and emotional health as well.

Our body's main healing mechanism is rest. When we are resting, our parasympathetic nervous system activates. Resources are pulled away from our extremities to our core, where it supports digestion, healing, hormone regulation, and rebuilding of nutrient stores.

Pelvic floor issues related to birth and postpartum can arise much later than we would anticipate. Without the proper time to rest postpartum, pressure builds on the unstable pelvic floor, which can cause symptoms that emerge months to years later. Resting immediately after birth can reduce pelvic floor dysfunction throughout a mother’s entire lifetime.

Traditions of Rest

Many traditions recognize that the imbalance of hormones and depletion of nutrients postpartum requires particular care. When we have reached our physical capacity in such a profound way through pregnancy and birth, it takes time for our body to build back up the nutrient stores it had before pregnancy. Resting and eating nourishing foods support this process.

In many cultures, it is customary for a woman to rest for an average of 40 days after she gives birth, while her extended family tends to her needs, the needs of other family members, and looks after the home. In the meantime, heal, nourish herself and the baby, and adjust to new motherhood.

You may be thinking “40 Days?! How could I ever rest for that long?” Aside from feeling like we should be productive and helpful sooner, we also have a strong aversion to boredom. The 5-5-5 rule gives us a framework that may feel more accessible, while still honoring the importance of rest.

The 5-5-5 Rule

● 5 Days in the bed

○ Aside from brief periods of standing to use the bathroom and shower, the mother stays laying down in bed, resting.

● 5 Days on the bed

○ The mother may be sitting more, engaging in activities that she can do seated. Still only getting up to take care of essential tasks.

● 5 Days around the bed

○ Moving towards more normal activities at home, while taking frequent rest breaks.

During this period of rest, it is important to keep your legs closed and minimize movement to allow the internal organs to resettle, and the pelvic floor to knit back together.

Now, how exactly do we make this space for ourselves?

Rest is a deceptive concept. It should be easy, right? After all, we call it “taking it easy” for a reason!

Yet, what I have heard from mothers time and again is how nearly impossible it feels to rest for any amount of time. The pressure to be productive, and the sense of ourselves as contributing members of society is extremely challenged in postpartum. Part of the challenge is that we don’t see the essential caregiving activities of new motherhood as “productive.”

Nursing on-demand or pumping? Not work.

Doing laundry? That’s productive.

Watching and learning your baby’s sleep and hunger cues? Not productive.

Cooking dinner for your family? You get the point.

Again, we are running into internalized misogyny and patriarchy that does not recognize the real physical, emotional and mental labor that the most basic of caregiving requires.

Additionally, many mothers find that without communication ahead of time, people arrive wanting to help with the baby. While we need the occasional break, during these very early days both mother and baby are most at ease when close to each other.

One way to consider the ideal division of labor postpartum is:

You take care of the baby, and everyone else takes care of YOU.

● Practice

○ Start now. Set aside time every day to practice doing nothing - or at least very little. Read a book. Drink a cup of tea. Look outside. Once a week, practice asking for help with things you could do yourself.

● Plan

○ What tasks are you currently responsible for? If you were to really follow the 5-5-5 system, how many times would someone else need to handle one of your responsibilities? What new tasks will there be once the baby arrives? Who is available to help?

● People

○ Who will handle these responsibilities? It is important to consider who you trust to take care of things. Your partner, your friends, your family, and hired help such as doulas are great options. But the key to success is to communicate desires, expectations, and schedules in advance.

For more support in postpartum planning, birth preparation or to set up postpartum doula support, visit www.soulfullsomatics.com . If you’re currently pregnant use the code FREEPRENATAL for your first Prenatal Yoga class free here.